Safari Park and Packing for Home

This was our one free day. The agency had nothing planned for us, so we decided to try out the Safari Park, a zoo on the outskirts of the city. We braved the subway, which was pretty nice after all. Our guide had told us sometimes during rush hour it gets so crowded that peoples' faces are smushed up against the windows. We were much luckier.

The park was pretty neat. I especially liked a monkey habitat that allowed the little monkeys to show off their swimming, diving, and cavorting abilities. You could buy and throw food into the water or into their very coordinated paws. The zoo also had a large number of pandas and 60% of all the white tigers in the world.  We even saw baby tigers in incubators and a nursery setting.

These animals were far more active compared to the snoozing animals at the Philly Zoo. But then, here employees throw meat at the tigers and lions to get them moving when guests walk by. It didn't look cruel; I decided to be ok with it since we were already there.  They also dangled chicken necks over water and tigers jumped for it, landing in the water. It was pretty amazing to see swimming tigers just on the other side of a pane of glass.





One really weird part of the zoo was the Jurassic Walk part. They had animatronic dinosaurs in pens, complete with signs that they used for all the other animals. Most of the moved, the raptor spit water, and the biggest ones roared. I found it a little hoaky, but I imagine my brother might have liked it when he was 8 or so.

Several school age children were terrified. Ruby was too little to think anything of it, though I rushed past the noisiest ones.  She did like the Jurassic mists we walked through, though.

I'm pretty sure this was the first time Ruby saw any of these animals. Given the way she jumped when she saw a house cat in a shop yesterday, animals are all pretty new to her. She took a whole park full of them in stride, though. She learned how to point. During the safari tram ride she kept pointing at the wrong side of the tram, at the plants and not the two dozen giraffes. 

And here you see a big step. Mommy's was tired and said no to picking Ruby up to see the silly monkeys, so she turned to Daddy.  He was happy to help. I think this is the first good picture of them together!

We had *lots* of great opportunities to test our parenting today. Ruby missed her nap and scheduled her meltdowns for all the public places: both subway rides, the middle of the monkey walk, the restaurant.  I found myself in the middle of a circle of spectators, holding a writhing, screaming child.  I just avoided eye contact with everyone.  When she stopped crying and I looked up, people seemed to be giving us kind looks. They usually waved goodbye to her.

We try to see these challenges as chances to show her the new boundaries in her life. I'm sure it will take a while. We also have great glimpses of her growing trust in us: I especially love to see her turn her head back to check on me while we walk hand in hand, and then a grin spreads across her face.

We've felt such support from our friends at home. I wanted to let you know some things the experts have told us about helping Ruby to transition during these early days. Our job is to teach her that we are not temporary caretakers, but her parents.  They suggest that only her parents feed and hold her for the first weeks she's home. They actually said we should do everything for her and be the ones to hand things to her for the first six months, but we'll see how that goes. I'll be home with her all the time, so I think that will pretty much be unavoidable.  We know that you all want to hug her, but since she's really got to focus on attaching to us and her grandparents, we'll have to find other ways for her to know how welcome she is.

The other girls might like some extra attention and time out with friends, especially since their transition at home might be tougher than they realize (but nothing out of the ordinary). 

A thunderstorm is echoing through the city--not something I'm used to at all.  My husband has used his amazing spatial awareness to pack all of our bags. Tomorrow we'll be leaving very early to begin our 26 hours of travel (including drive times).  I'll post in a few days to let you know how our reunion with the girls went.

Now, in the words of Pearl and Sapphire, "Adios Flamingos!!"

Historical Sites of Guangzhou

I love breakfast here! It is so nice to have someone else make all your food every day. This morning I asked to be seated so we could have a view of the lovely garden and koi pond while we ate.

I'm not sure if they feed the koi anything beyond the donuts, bread, and muffins the guests pitch into the water to see the resulting frenzy.  The fish made Ruby giggle!

Later while we strolled around the garden, we heard chanting. It was a small, illegal protest targeting the Japanese consulate which is housed in our hotel's building.  Fourteen Chinese nationals had made their way to a disputed island, and Japan had arrested them. China demanded their immediate release, but it wasn't clear what would happen. Both nations think the island is theirs. Tensions are high, and we were told not to wander outside during the protest.

When we finally saw it from above, in our room, we saw about fifty protestors surrounded by fifty police and about twenty photographers. So it wasn't that big.  The military was running through the hotel lobby, much to the distress of the sedate and proper staff.  This was not a registered protest, but since it was a pro-China, anti-Japan rally, the police were tolerating it and just trying to keep them out of the hotel, which they did.

We left all the hoopla behind and went to see the Six Banyan Temple, an operational Buddhist temple in the city. There was a pretty, tall pagoda. They had several temples with Buddhas of different sizes inside. At one temple, adoptive families had brought their children to be blessed by the monks.  I didn't care to stay to watch, and I took Ruby out of that building, but Jasper said the monk chanted over them and used a tea leaf to sprinkle water over the families.

Ruby refuses to use the very nice stroller the hotel loaned us. She is used to them from her foster center, but she prefers to be carried. By me. You might find me a half inch shorter when I get back to PA.  Carrying a 24 pound child around seems to be compressing my back. It does give us a lot of bond-building contact, though. She also likes to hold my hand tightly if she is walking, which is a great feature in busy places.

Next we went to the Chen Family Museum. This used to be a center shared by an entire village, but the city has swallowed it up. When it was built, it offered space for ancestor worship (sort of like that scene in Mulan, only with hundreds of ancestor tablets), a place to host visitors, and a school where locals could be trained to serve the emperor.  You can see two tiny ancestor tablets on the narrow steps that used to hold all the villagers' "ancestors."

It was partly destroyed during the Cultural Revolution when religious, cultural, and historical artifacts were destroyed.  Now it is owned by the government and used to display local folk arts.

Here we are holding a picture of Traveling Tara from the Clubhouse Jr. Magazine that Pearl colored.  You're supposed to take pictures of her on your travels.  Ruby may look uncomfortable, but she was fine.

We came back to the hotel to cool off and rest, and later we made our way to a nearby TrustMart, a sort of everything store. Jasper stocked up on more peanut milk than I think he can drink in the next 2.25 days before we leave. That's something else he missed from his stay ten years ago.

Medical Exam

We saw a little more of our new hotel, the Garden. It has a lovely garden and koi pond outside the breakfast area. It also has peanut butter for breakfast, which made me happy.  Our hotel also has 1,900 staff running it. This includes two people to stand by the front door and welcome us in each time, and someone to push the elevator button when we wish to get on.  This is a disappointment to Ruby, who loves that task best of all.

We've seen a lot of over-staffing here in China. Today I saw someone sweeping up the few leaves that had fallen from trees onto the sidewalk. Restaurants seem to have more waitstaff than you ever see in the States. Labor is cheap, but we heard today that some of the factories in Guangzhou have relocated to the cheaper labor market of Vietnam.  Nothing is cheap in China anymore, we were told

The medical exam went very well.  We speeded through it--two photos, a brief body exam, a height and weight check, and an ear, nose and throat exam.  I was sure Ruby was going to be writhing on the floor at some point, but she didn't.  All the kids have to have this check before they get their visas.  The US consulate contracts the clinic to do the checks.

These guys had speed. You don't need much of a bedside manner if you can check everything in 60 seconds.  

We went through it so quickly we had time to stroll through the open square of Guangzhou and see all of the buildings that have been built over the last six years. When Jasper was here last 10 years ago, this land was farmland. Now the farmers have been given new apartments in return for their land, and these apartments go for nearly $1 million US.  The old fields are now giving a crop of highrise buildings, including some of the highest towers and radio towers in the world.  The buildings are impressive. One had a wind tunnel that powers the whole building's electrical needs.

Behind the segue-riding policewomen you see the Canton Tower, a radio and observation tower; it was briefly the tallest tower in the world from 2009 until 2011.  You could take a 20 minute tram ride around the top, if you wanted to. I don't.  We came back to the hotel and worked on some paperwork. John tells us the paperwork is now over, that he takes it over from here.  I don't really believe him--it is too good to be true.

I took a walk to explore our tiny corner of this huge city, the third largest in China. Jasper took a nap, and so did Ruby. She's really doing much better with him.  He can get her to laugh and play, and she knows he is the master of the cookies.  I'm hoping we work our way up to him holding her or at least being able to sit near her without me before that 12 hour flight. She even lets him pick her up briefly if she knows it will benefit her (like she'll get to push an elevator button).

This evening we got to go out to eat with a very pleasant family from Washington, the same family that had been in Hohhot with us. Jasper did a great job ordering a variety of foods, including, if you notice in the center, a plate of whole, fried fish with the heads on. We didn't eat the heads. He also got that special dish he likes so well--the one from the north eastern area of China that we couldn't find at all in Hohhot.  It's the half gone orange-y dish on the left. Ruby ate a ton, as usual. She really liked the sweetened sesame seed bread. She also liked taking the crayons out of the box repeatedly and watching me pick them up as they fell. 


Sending a big hug to Pearl and Sapphire, who are doing such a good job entertaining their grownups in Pennsylvania!! 

Getting to Know Each Other

After all the excitement of yesterday, I guess we needed some down time.  We had a nice breakfast, and Ruby ate a good bit, occasionally offering to share with me. As usual they offered chicken feet, noodles, rice, dim sum, rotisserie lamb, and salty milk tea for breakfast along with the normal Western fare. I'm a little less adventurous at breakfast now; I just want comfort foods.

At 9am we went to the hotel meeting room for some official paperwork.  Two other families were there, one from Michigan and one from Washington. I held Ruby on my lap and played playdough while Jasper handled the paperwork. I teased him that it was his turn now, after I completed all the other forms over the last 18 months. After we signed each paper, we had to stamp our thumbprint in red ink over it. It took about 90 minutes.

So far these pictures show her on my lap, because she spends a lot of time there. She hasn't warmed up to Jasper as much, or at all, really. He's handling it well, but I know he'd like to start making friends with her too.  Right now she sort of edges away from him if she has a choice, and he won't force it.  Ruby and I are great friends though. She looks up at me with her big eyes as we walk along holding hands as if she wants to see if everything is alright.

She fell asleep on me when we returned from a walk throughout the hotel (it was raining outside most of the day here), and she slept for three hours in her crib. It felt a little odd to have come all the way to China to sit in a hotel room for most of the afternoon while she slept.  We have HBO and several English sport channels (of no help to us!), but the English movies are usually horrible.  We lucked out when A Few Good Men came on, and then I took a nap.

We tried the pool, and I think I taught Ruby the word 'water.' We had to wear the swim caps. She likes to splash!

We went out to dinner then and she ate so much I was a little concerned she'd pop. She ate dumplings and rice and mushrooms and beef and fried chicken (just like nuggets, only in stick shape), but she really loved the broiled lamb T-bone. Lamb is a big dish here. Tomorrow we might see some sheep as we take our grassland tour.

We tricked Ruby a bit by turning on the tv to distract her, then I shimmied her up to Jasper who popped a bottle of warm water (that's what they give babies here) into her mouth. Experts suggest encouraging some regression, like giving bottles, to help the adopted child experience some more baby-like stages with her new parents.  She sucked at it for a while before she realized how close she was to him and turned away, but she fell asleep like that, so I guess it is progress.  It's the closest he's been to her yet. Prayer for her to see what a wonderful daddy she has would be a big help.

Now a note on Chinese pastries. I am always shocked to see Chinese buffets in the States fill a whole table with those tasteless pastries that only novices try.  They are horrible. They make me want to write to the Chinese Buffet Confederation and beg them to save money and food waste by cutting them from the menu. I have long wondered if the pastries are the Chinese restauranteurs' attempt at pleasing the American palate, or if they are a replica of real Chinese food. Well, now I've seen those same cream puff style desserts in bakeries here, so I know the answer. We try to sample bakery offerings whenever we can. I always hope to find red bean paste filled things, but it is always a gamble since we have no idea what we are buying. There have been some disappointments, but others are tasty.  These three had coconut, sesame, and date fillings. A total strike out. 

And an update on Pearl and Sapphire, who we talk to via Skype nearly every day. They are well. Sapphire is too busy to talk to us other than to shout "hi" and "by-I-love-you" as we sign off.  Pearl is more constant, but I think it is partly because she likes seeing herself make faces on the screen. They are having a fun-filled day with their aunt and uncle today. They won't want to come home!

The Last Wait

I've got 50 minutes until Ruby gets to our hotel lobby, and I've finished the Hobbit, my 'comfort read', and I thought I'd at least write about our morning trip around Hohhot since later today the focus will be about our new arrival.

We experienced a very crowded, elaborate buffet breakfast at the hotel this morning. Then we took a cab to the big Buddhist temple in town. It was built in the 1600s and is really pretty big. We heard some monks chanting and saw people spinning prayer wheels. We explored temple after temple for a while, then headed into the market nearby. There we found some items that required a little haggling.

When we turned around to go back, we saw a red cross rising above the old one story shop fronts, so we tracked it down.  The pastor was eager to practice his English on us, and we chatted. He said the church serves 1500 people and grew out of the ministry of a missionary who arrived in the 1920s.  It was heartening to meet devout believers here in Hohhot. They gather for prayer at 6:30 ever morning and worship for two hours.

You see the sheep decorating the wall behind the "choir loft."  That's because the people here love sheep and mutton, and it jives with the image of the Great Shepherd.

Writing has helped a little, but I've got 40  minutes to go. We were supposed to get her at 10am according to the original itinerary, but then there was some transport issue with roads being out because of recent rains, so they had to put Ruby on a train. Then we heard 2pm, and most lately our facilitator said it would be 3pm.  The waiting is hard. I keep trying to compare it to the wait in the hospital when the other two were on their way. I'm not sure how it compares, but it is all I know.

I fell pretty jittery; of course, that might be the two cups of cappuccino I had at breakfast.  I pray things go well. I've prayed a lot during this trip. We're pretty sure she'll be nervous of Jasper--he's tall, bearded, and strange looking. The babies at the foster home started crying when he came in, which is not a great indicator of love at first sight on Ruby's part!  My expectations keep veering in all different directions, as they have done for months. And soon we'll see how this starts, which really doesn't have tons of bearing on how this will turn out when I'm 80 and she's 49.

30 minutes to go.

Last Day Touring Beijing

We had another delightful breakfast. I learned I like muesli and *love* Chinese donuts covered in white sugar and a touch of cinnamon.

Then we left for the Temple of Heaven. This was where the Emperor went twice a year to offer sacrifices to the god of Heaven, the only entity he was ok with being above him in authority.  They sacrificed calves to the dead emperors and the god of Heaven. There was a big complex, complete with a changing room for the emperor so he could put on his more humble (not gold) outfit before the sacrifices.  It was very crowded there. My favorite part was the public area of the park where retired people were doing all sorts of activities: tai chi, step dancing to music, sing-a-longs, Chinese chess, knitting, card games, and hacky sack. There weren't many children; the retired people come every day to be active and with others. There was even a few guys on a set of high bars swinging themselves around, but not doing any flips.

This place was pretty crowded, but I did get a good idea of the culture that created the sacrifice system.

Then we went to an indoor flea market and Jasper made me haggle for a few little things. It was not a thrill. I do not like haggling.  

Next we went to a much anticipated lunch. Jasper has been on a quest for a dish he had when he lived in Jilin. It turns out David, our guide, is from northeast China and knows all about the foods Jasper reminisces about.  So he was able to find us a northeast restaurant right in Beijing and order us guo ba roe, thinly sliced pork in a batter, fried, and laid in a vinegary sweet and sour sauce.  It really was amazing.  I've heard about this mythic dish for years, so I was glad to try it finally. We ate it all, and much of the other dishes David ordered. He always orders multiple dishes. They are all placed on a rotating lazy Susan, and we share them. This was the most authentic place--no tourists, just locals. 

Next we went to Tienanmen Square (avoiding Mao's corpse), where it started to rain. We walked through the square and into the Forbidden City.  It is nearly a kilometer long and some 700 meters wide with over 800 rooms, all surrounded by a moat and walls. I have to watch *The Last Emperor* again. The interiors are all closed off, so at best you can push through a crowd to peer into a room with a throne. The exteriors of the buildings are impressive and colorful, though. This was the most crowded place of all.

Tomorrow we leave here at 8:30 to go see Ruby's foster center for a brief visit on the way to the airport. I prepared the gifts for the nannies there, as well as a list of questions we want to ask. We're hoping to take lots of pictures and maybe some videos for Ruby to remember it by.We fly to Inner Mongolia at noon.

Side note: I'm really enjoying the Olympic coverage in China. We watch it on a few different channels, but the CCTV one does a great job showing long pieces of different sports. I've had a chance to see synchronized swimming and some kung fu.  They don't just focus on Chinese athletes, though they show them a lot too.  I think they do a better job than NBC; they show you more and it does not feel so truncated. Also, we love the blooper reels they put on every morning. Synchronized swimming is my new favorite sport!

Longest Day Ever

Jasper suggests I stay up as long as possible now, but I just want to sleep. We left our home at 6am Aug 8th and made great time going to Dulles until we hit serious backups around DC.  We had to veer into the city--and we were getting nail-bitingly close to eating up all our buffer time sitting in traffic.  We finally found some clear roads south of Silver Springs, and then we were fine.

The flight was long, but I really appreciated the new style of movie watching. I had bout 40 movies to choose from. We watched Hunger Games and the newer Sherlock Holmes movies, which were entertaining. I got a little teary at 6pm PA time when I knew VBS was starting without me. I listened to my mp3 player with the VBS songs and imagined the kids waving their arms gleefully to the music.  I'm glad I got to be there two nights.

Fourteen hours is a long time to be in a plane!! And I couldn't help but think about what the return flight is going to be like with a 23 month old on our laps.  We had just about no leg room as it was, so I think it could go very badly. The last long flight will take off at 8 in the evening, so let's all pray she sleeps! I also plan to scout out an empty seat and stake it out, if possible.

David, our facilitator, was at the airport to greet us, which really made me feel secure. We are not his usual clients. He said we're much younger than most adopting couples, and we carry less baggage.  He took us to "refresh" at our hotel in Beijing. Here's the room.  

 Then we went to a Wigar (not sure of the spelling--they were in the news last year) restaurant that serves an oil company near our hotel. The head chef makes dishes from the company's native Xinjiang Province where the Muslim Wigar's live.

 This is a lamb dish over what David called a "pizza."  It was round bread, but otherwise not pizza like at all to me. I really liked the mutton. Then there were green beans like you see at buffets at home, but these had about 20 times the flavor of those green beans.



The dish below is Kung Pow Chicken, sort of spicy.

 Then we said goodbye to David and began a little stroll to stay awake. Our hotel is alongside the moat that used to surround old Beijing. Our hotel is in the oldest part, the center of the city. 

 And we came upon a fragrant market selling tofu, lots of peaches, veggies, fish, meats, and all sorts of things. 

 Tomorrow is a big day. We'll go to the Badaling part of the Great Wall, and we'll see the Summer Palace (a palace girls!) and an acrobat show in the evening.  So we're doing just fine, and I can't wait to fall asleep!

A Tiny Disappointment

I received an email from Ruby's foster care center that she will be leaving for Inner Mongolia to begin her part in the paperwork (she has to have a passport photo taken!) on the same day we fly to Beijing. This means we won't get to see her in the home she's known for 20 months of her life. This is disappointing. I had hoped that we would get a chance to meet her in surroundings she felt comfortable with, so that when we met her again in Hohhot, it would be less of a shock to her.

Not only that, but the idea of her going through 5 days of transition even before the big transition to come with us is distressing.  She'll be leaving her only home to go to an orphanage, and after several days there she'll be handed over to us.  One bright spot is that a nanny from Beijing who she knows will stay with her the whole time in the orphanage until we meet her.  The woman in charge of her home assured us that they won't leave her alone with strangers. That is a big relief, at least.

This is a tiny corner taken from a photo of a little girl who spent most of her 3 years in the Social Welfare Institute that Ruby will be at for those five days. I've cropped out the other little girl (who is going through her own massive battle for health with a new, loving family who writes about her here) to focus on the cribs and the suggestion of a bright mural.  I wonder if Ruby will be in this room or will stay somewhere with her nanny. 

We will still go to her foster center in Beijing to meet Grandma Li, her caretaker.  We will be sure to take lots of photos.

We're back home after a few days away (a visit to the Renaissance Faire and our parents' homes), and we're looking at the final stretch before we leave. Jasper will have some busy errands on Monday, and I want to bond with my luggage and make sure they are all at their best. I'd also like to finish painting the porch so that Ruby has a pretty house to come home to in a few weeks!

Piles of Paper

I would just like to say that, I've gotten my PhD, and I don't think that accomplishment was any harder than obtaining and organizing the paperwork involved in adoption. Neither was easy! Tonight I'm sorting the forms we have to take to China. It feels like I am in the last stages of dissertation preparation.

There should be a degree conferred on adoptive parents who successfully navigate this jungle.

Airline Tickets

We got our first choice consulate appointment on Aug. 20th, so we could go ahead and buy the plan tickets. Sadly, in the time the confirmation for the consulate appointment to arrive, tickets to Beijing went up $1000.  We were a little flabbergasted about this.  The agency had suggested one price in their general paperwork, but the only direct tickets are double that.  The flights with layovers are not all that much better.

The today we tried to improve on what the travel agent found, and we unearthed tickets for $300 less each, so we are saving $600 from just waiting one day, and we still get a direct flight.  So, we're spending $1,900 more than expected, but we saved what we thought we'd be spending yesterday.  Phew. It almost sounds like a deal.

Our agency said there is a chance that not only will we get to visit Ruby's foster home (which we will certainly do), but we might also get to go directly from that visit to the airport with her and the nanny and fly with them to Hohhot.  Then we wouldn't have to say good bye to her, which might be confusing for her.

I realized we have something planned for nearly every day until we leave, and that does not include the packing and finalizing, but we don't want to miss any of it.  Pearl finished up her swim lessons today. She made so much progress, and I'm really proud of her! We also get to celebrate my dad's birthday with the family.

Thanks for all the prayers for patience and peace that you've made on my behalf.  They have been much needed and appreciated.

The Big Question

In the car yesterday, Pearl asked me "Why are we getting Ruby?"  Pearl's been part of the discussion all along; we talked to her about getting a baby, she's been turning our sofa into an airplane and play-acting arriving in China and adopting a baby, and we had her ok the referral before we called the social worker back in April.  Adoption is going to be a part of Pearl's life from now on, so I really wanted to get this question right.

Many people have asked me this, but I think I was most pleased with my answer to Pearl. I explained that there were a lot of reasons that we were adopting, that on certain days, certain reasons seemed most important, but that it shifted around a lot. She listened as I went over how we have so much--a big house with room to spare, a yard, good doctors, more love to share--and that we wanted to share it with someone who didn't have anything. I told her that Ruby has people to care for her now, but that she didn't have any money or parents, and that if she aged out of the Chinese orphanage system at age 14, she'd be in a horrible situation. That's one of the main reasons.

She seemed ok with that, and with another reason: we have enjoyed our two little girls so much, we want to see what a third one is like.  Jasper would use that logic to fill the house with about five more kids if he could, but I'm taking it one at a time.  Finally, and on some days most importantly, we want to nurture Ruby's spirit and faith--something that almost certainly would not happen where she is now--to learn from her and to grow with her.

There are other reasons too, ones I'll explain to the girls when they are older. I think I may have started mulling over the idea of adoption from China, or maybe just adoption, after hearing this heart wrenching NPR story, but that was years before we began serious research. 

On another note, the girls love their blog names so much, they've taken to calling each other by them, though they don't seem able to keep them straight.

Since Sapphire wants a mention too, I'll just note here that today she said she wants to be a mermaid when she grows up, one with a tail, so that she doesn't need a grown up with her in the pool.  !

Preparations

It seems that parents blog about their adoption journeys when they are able, and I've got a lot of catching up to do. We began the process with prayer and research in August of 2010, and we applied to our agency in February of 2011.  Now, nearly 17 months later, we are preparing to journey to Inner Mongolia to meet our new daughter. She has a minor special need which may require surgery when we get home. Our other daughters are eager to meet her (or as eager as they can be at 2 and 6), and our church is ready to welcome her home too.

Last year was a lot of paperwork. This year has been a lot of waiting. We were able to be matched with a child in December of 2011, but the match didn't happen until April of 2012. I knew that the shared list had come out the night before, but in the rush to get to co-op I forgot to check my email. The email with her first pictures sat unopened until our social worker called Jasper around noon to see if he'd gotten it. I came home from co-op with the girls to find a fairly rattled Jasper. He'd been surprised. I skimmed over her information and photos while our daughters fought in the background. It wasn't the normal silent, tear-filled exuberance I see in other families' referral moments! But it was the next step in a journey.

Now I'm gathering supplies for the trip, reading adoption books with the girls, and trying to be ok with the fact that I will almost certainly miss the first week of class at my university.  We'll get the date for travel in about a month. We'll be more than ready for it then!!

This is how we met Ju Er: