Getting to Know Each Other

After all the excitement of yesterday, I guess we needed some down time.  We had a nice breakfast, and Ruby ate a good bit, occasionally offering to share with me. As usual they offered chicken feet, noodles, rice, dim sum, rotisserie lamb, and salty milk tea for breakfast along with the normal Western fare. I'm a little less adventurous at breakfast now; I just want comfort foods.

At 9am we went to the hotel meeting room for some official paperwork.  Two other families were there, one from Michigan and one from Washington. I held Ruby on my lap and played playdough while Jasper handled the paperwork. I teased him that it was his turn now, after I completed all the other forms over the last 18 months. After we signed each paper, we had to stamp our thumbprint in red ink over it. It took about 90 minutes.

So far these pictures show her on my lap, because she spends a lot of time there. She hasn't warmed up to Jasper as much, or at all, really. He's handling it well, but I know he'd like to start making friends with her too.  Right now she sort of edges away from him if she has a choice, and he won't force it.  Ruby and I are great friends though. She looks up at me with her big eyes as we walk along holding hands as if she wants to see if everything is alright.

She fell asleep on me when we returned from a walk throughout the hotel (it was raining outside most of the day here), and she slept for three hours in her crib. It felt a little odd to have come all the way to China to sit in a hotel room for most of the afternoon while she slept.  We have HBO and several English sport channels (of no help to us!), but the English movies are usually horrible.  We lucked out when A Few Good Men came on, and then I took a nap.

We tried the pool, and I think I taught Ruby the word 'water.' We had to wear the swim caps. She likes to splash!

We went out to dinner then and she ate so much I was a little concerned she'd pop. She ate dumplings and rice and mushrooms and beef and fried chicken (just like nuggets, only in stick shape), but she really loved the broiled lamb T-bone. Lamb is a big dish here. Tomorrow we might see some sheep as we take our grassland tour.

We tricked Ruby a bit by turning on the tv to distract her, then I shimmied her up to Jasper who popped a bottle of warm water (that's what they give babies here) into her mouth. Experts suggest encouraging some regression, like giving bottles, to help the adopted child experience some more baby-like stages with her new parents.  She sucked at it for a while before she realized how close she was to him and turned away, but she fell asleep like that, so I guess it is progress.  It's the closest he's been to her yet. Prayer for her to see what a wonderful daddy she has would be a big help.

Now a note on Chinese pastries. I am always shocked to see Chinese buffets in the States fill a whole table with those tasteless pastries that only novices try.  They are horrible. They make me want to write to the Chinese Buffet Confederation and beg them to save money and food waste by cutting them from the menu. I have long wondered if the pastries are the Chinese restauranteurs' attempt at pleasing the American palate, or if they are a replica of real Chinese food. Well, now I've seen those same cream puff style desserts in bakeries here, so I know the answer. We try to sample bakery offerings whenever we can. I always hope to find red bean paste filled things, but it is always a gamble since we have no idea what we are buying. There have been some disappointments, but others are tasty.  These three had coconut, sesame, and date fillings. A total strike out. 

And an update on Pearl and Sapphire, who we talk to via Skype nearly every day. They are well. Sapphire is too busy to talk to us other than to shout "hi" and "by-I-love-you" as we sign off.  Pearl is more constant, but I think it is partly because she likes seeing herself make faces on the screen. They are having a fun-filled day with their aunt and uncle today. They won't want to come home!

Piles of Paper

I would just like to say that, I've gotten my PhD, and I don't think that accomplishment was any harder than obtaining and organizing the paperwork involved in adoption. Neither was easy! Tonight I'm sorting the forms we have to take to China. It feels like I am in the last stages of dissertation preparation.

There should be a degree conferred on adoptive parents who successfully navigate this jungle.

Preparations

It seems that parents blog about their adoption journeys when they are able, and I've got a lot of catching up to do. We began the process with prayer and research in August of 2010, and we applied to our agency in February of 2011.  Now, nearly 17 months later, we are preparing to journey to Inner Mongolia to meet our new daughter. She has a minor special need which may require surgery when we get home. Our other daughters are eager to meet her (or as eager as they can be at 2 and 6), and our church is ready to welcome her home too.

Last year was a lot of paperwork. This year has been a lot of waiting. We were able to be matched with a child in December of 2011, but the match didn't happen until April of 2012. I knew that the shared list had come out the night before, but in the rush to get to co-op I forgot to check my email. The email with her first pictures sat unopened until our social worker called Jasper around noon to see if he'd gotten it. I came home from co-op with the girls to find a fairly rattled Jasper. He'd been surprised. I skimmed over her information and photos while our daughters fought in the background. It wasn't the normal silent, tear-filled exuberance I see in other families' referral moments! But it was the next step in a journey.

Now I'm gathering supplies for the trip, reading adoption books with the girls, and trying to be ok with the fact that I will almost certainly miss the first week of class at my university.  We'll get the date for travel in about a month. We'll be more than ready for it then!!

This is how we met Ju Er: