Self-Regulating Scholar

After a less than pleasant school time Monday, I decided to try a chart, something I had been avoiding. But it seems to work out ok. Pearl is able to see all the subjects we need to get through during the day, and if she can complete them she will earn a half hour or an hour of movie watching. If she fails to check out each box, then she misses out on tv time entirely. The two oldest girls are highly motivated by television, alas. The thought of Sapphire watching anything without her gets Pearl moving, which is exactly what I needed to have happen. After all, one of the reason's I'm homeschooling is to instill a self-motivated love of learning in my children.

Here she broke away from her reward to join us for a walk. The girls are wearing their new t-shirts Nana brought home from NYC.  Photographing three wiggling girls is quite a task!

And here Pearl is enjoying some quiet time and her new collection of felt dolly clothes. Thanks so much Mike and Teri for the welcome-home-Ruby gifts! They have kept her busy during the late afternoon again, as her doll talks to her sister's doll about what to wear. I think sorting them is the most fun.

Pearl and I have also been working on Ruby's lifebook.  This is the book that tells Ruby's story from her perspective (as well as we can), and it helps to explain terms like birthparents and adoption in kid-friendly ways. Adoptive families are encouraged to start sharing these terms with their little ones right away, and reading the words in picture books and the lifebook helps build a foundation for conversations whenever the child needs them.

I found ideas for the content online, and I'm just gluing photos and copy in a red 8 x 8" scrapbook my husband's oldest sister kindly found for the purpose.  The page above explains how much Ruby is loved at her group foster home, and how they will keep her photo (in the bottom left corner) on their wall forever. 

Our family will be gathering tomorrow to celebrate my grandmother's life. If you had met her, she would have instructed you to call her Mom-mom. Her she is at my brother's wedding last year, where I didn't realize that another cousin was also bringing her drinks unbidden, and between us we were sort of overdoing it! Ruby got to meet this great-grandmother only briefly before she died after a brief illness on Saturday.  She was 91. Her obituary is here. 

First Visit to the Doctor

Ruby's own birthday mark-CM2

We finished up the girls' birthday celebrations with a family gathering hosted by Grammy and Poppop. It was so nice to hang out together with cousins and aunts and uncles for the afternoon.  The girls loved the big balloons, dollies, and books they received as presents.

Ruby's language is starting to grow, I think. In the last week she's started repeating more words after we say them, though not using them independently yet.  This is new for her. It is as if she's decided to learn to speak English.

Here's a list of English words she does use independently: uh-oh (she knew this one in China), more (she learned that one pretty quickly!), no, up, mama, dada. 

This week marked the start of the big girls' co-op. It meets one day every other week. Their daddy is teaching a class on martial arts there this semester, and I plan to stay home with Ruby.  He takes them for three hour-long classes, allowing Pearl to learn about the solar system, manners, and drama. Sapphire plays and works on a letter worksheet.  Pearl was excited about the start of this group, and she created this poster and asked me to put it up to 'celebrate.'

Our other family news is that the paperwork is not over. I've begun learning about the process of China's post-placement reports. We make one through our agency once she's been home one month, six months, twelve months, then three more stretching out to the final one at six years. We'll be scheduling the social worker to come to the home, take a look, and submit photos and medical info showing we are taking good care of Ruby.  I can't help but wonder who in China gets to read all of these reports.

Ruby had her first doctor's visit and four shots, and then we walked across the hall and filled four tubes with blood.  She did very well--didn't cry for her TB test, but waited until two nurses hit her up with needles in both thighs.  She was a little shocked that these nice ladies would do that!  We have no concerns following her medical exam, so we'll just keep updating the shots we promised the government we'd take care of. 

The big girls were impressed by all of her bandages.

Central PA September Fun

This is a favorite element at the York Fair. The ducklings climb up the steps, reach for a mouthful of food, then tumble down the slide into the water. They don't seem to mind the indignity, but keep climbing up for more until they are full. We could watch for several minutes. People gather to watch and laugh. Ruby thought it was hilarious.

During our trip to the York Fair this week, we learned that she likes animals at a distance. Little animals are ok if her sisters are holding them--then she might give them a quick, hesitant pat. But the large animals are best seen from several feet away, no touching, now way.

They all liked the corn box.

Ruby is such a nice little helper. I finally have a laundry buddy. She stands by the basket and gives each item a little flap, then hands it up to me to pin to the line. She hates to see me go out with the laundry basket without her. She also will wipe up the table if we give her a washcloth. Shoes are her domain too. If she hears me tell someone it is time to go, she bee-lines for the shoe pile, finds their shoes, and brings them back full of expectation. They are not always the shoes that go best with your outfit or the outing, but her energy is appreciated.

Our other fall ritual is Apple Day, when we head down to the orchard and fill a few little baskets with whatever is ripe. The girls take about 20 minutes to fill the baskets it would take an adult 3 minutes to fill! These were the Jonagolds, which I might have to turn into some pies.

We told Sapphire she had to treat her apple like a baby because she otherwise plunked them down in the basket with too much force. Here she is loving her apple.

I like this picture because I finally caught Ruby smiling.  She smiles a lot around here, but it is hard to record that because she doesn't pause for photos. Here she was relishing the fact that our apple ritual includes a taste test.  Anything that includes food makes it a first rate event for her.

We were outside again today, just enjoying the weather and playing squirrel family. We do Pearl's lessons in the morning, and this morning I had to reel my scheduled self in when she decided she wanted to expand her lesson on Day 3 of Creation by collecting and sketching the leaves she found in the yard. That wasn't planned, but it was a great way to learn some new plants, and her sketches look good.

We're also reading *Stories of the Pilgrims* to learn about the struggles they faced even before they came to the New World. Other categories in her lessons include writing (she wrote a letter to Nana), spelling, math, manners, calendar skills, piano, and counting.  We also make time for her to read each day. She likes Easy Readers, and thank goodness for our local librarians who keep us stocked up!

Here Pearl wants to share an apple slice with you.

Birthday Girls--and the Welcome Party

One of the goals, once we were matched with Ruby, was to have her home before her next birthday.  God saw to that, and today Ruby turns two. It has been a low-key kind of day, but the weekend was all about birthday bliss!

Sapphire has been requesting a dolphin cake since May when Sophie T. reported that this was what her grandma would be making for her birthday. They must have been trading "how-we-will-get-the-grown-ups-to-do-our-bidding" secrets.

This is what I came up with after searching the internet for easy ideas.  The ones I saw there all involved drawing a dolphin in icing (or sculpting one out of fondant). I came up with this instead. The paper cut outs were easy and they let the big girls help design the final product.

We had a family birthday party at my parents' house with my siblings and sister-in-law. My in-laws are planning a party next weekend; we like to draw out birthdays around here!

Pearl is 6.25!

We got three hats in an market in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia, and I plan to bring them out for birthdays. The two big girls wore theirs, but Ruby barely let it touch her head.

Sapphire turns 3!

Ruby turns 2!

The aunts and uncles had picked out some real winning gifts.










This dolly got a whoop out of Ruby, who swung her around and promptly dropped her

Then, in the late afternoon, the "Welcome to the Family Ruby/Happy Birthdays Too" party began. My parents graciously opened their home to our Chester County family who cannot easily get to our house two counties over.

It was great to introduce Ruby to so many family members.  She received a big welcome from some really nice great-aunts and uncles, cousins, and long-time church friends. She charmed them all, I think.  They are pretty charming themselves!

As for other updates, she seems to be doing very well with her daddy.  Because I had to teach, he took them to a wedding rehearsal and then on to Chester County Thursday night, so she relied on him for about 18 hours straight. I think this warmed her up to the idea of him as her protector.  I know we are not yet even in her eyes, but maybe soon we'll get there. 

And I just watched Sapphire and Ruby play very nicely together. Pearl is on a play date this afternoon, so the little girls were able to play in their own meandering style--less narrative, but less tension too.

Thanks to all the friends and family who are helping to show Ruby what a family is all about!

Start of School

All 5 of us on The Rock, the official photo site at my parents' house

So far we've had Ruby for 3 1/2 weeks, and we've been home as a family for 2 full weeks.  Things are settling down.  Last weekend Ruby visited my parents' house, where we stay most Friday nights so my husband can run his karate school. She took to the house very well, but the new change did upset her sleeping, and she cried out more than she had for some time. It took two more nights for this to get out of her system, but when she's home, she sleeps very soundly.

This week Pearl started first grade. Here she is on her first day.  She's continuing some simple piano lessons and we're learning about the Pilgrims as well as reviewing some math facts that seem to come very easily to her.

Sapphire wanted to start school too, so she is looking at a letter each day and doing some coloring. Otherwise she and Ruby run around while I try to explain things to Pearl. It is not a very quiet environment, but it works.

Pearl's other big news is the loss of her second tooth. They are falling out like crazy now! It wiggled one  moment over corn and fell out by dessert the same meal. Sapphire tells me she has loose ones too. 

The big girls are always eager for Ruby to wake from her nap, I guess because they like the chaos of all three trying to play together. Sapphire had to learn to stay out of her sister's room when she's sleeping.  She calls her "Baby Ruby" like the folks at our church call babies when they first arrive, until they are about 18 months old. My older girls used to be "Baby Pearl" and "Baby Sapphire" too.

We all went to the Chinese buffet we like in York, and Ruby actually screamed in delight when she saw all those tables of food.  She made a little dent in them.  I think she liked everything.

We have some big birthday plans this weekend since two of our daughters celebrate a new year. Maybe we'll see you there!!

One Week Home

This blog used to chronicle journeys to neat places in China. This week we're a lot more concerned with the mundane, like getting through each day with a doable amount of sleep!

Sapphire asleep over her bedtime snack.

We're still in the adjusting period.  Nights have been much more active than I tend to like. Ruby was waking up to play for a few hours, then the grown up on duty would either get some sleep or hear the patter of Sapphire's early-rising feet.

Right now, with sleeping, Ruby likes to see someone until she falls asleep. Friends dropped off a very soothing crib toy (thanks Katie and Jake!), and that helps distract Ruby so we can move our arms out of the crib and start to edge away from it. Then I sit and read just inside the door while she drifts off to sleep.  An excuse to read! How wonderful! 

Then, when everyone is awake together, I feel like I need to be in the room to referee. The littlest two are not satisfied with sharing a lap, or with taking turns, but we all knew that was going to happen! There are periods of quiet, happy play, and then there are bouts of screaming over something that neither of the little ones really wants.

But, finally, last night we all slept and woke at 8am. Sapphire was sick in the night, but still, 8am!! Ruby slept for 13 hours, and we all feel better after sleeping that long. And it worked. Our one week home anniversary was our first calm and peaceful day. 

Here she is in her favorite spot. She'd out-eat anyone in the house, I think. I know our food is delicious and varied, and I've read that this is pretty common in kids in her situation. The three girls produce a mountain of crumbs under the table. 

The rest are up to their silly tricks. On Tuesday we celebrated the last day of my summer break with a big girls' outing to see *Brave* in the theater while Ruby napped. It was scary, but with constant whispers of "It'll be ok--the bear doesn't eat her!", we got through it.

Pearl is my hero when it comes to wedging herself into the four door Fusion between two leaning car seats without complaining.  We will at least try to stop the leaning. She's been great all around. She certainly has her daddy's portion of patience. We also enjoy some oldest sister special time in the evenings when we get a chance and the Sleeping Queens card game or *Horse and His Boy* are  calling to us.

Our first family outing was the worship service at church. Ruby stayed on my lap eating Cheerios for most of the service.  Our church family has a tradition of placing a single rose on the communion table the first Sunday after a new baby arrives, and this time I got to see my new daughter's rose along with everyone else.  Everyone was so kind and gracious to us. I'm thankful to be raising my children with you all!

Sisters

Ruby had no idea how big a day this was going to be for her. We all woke up at 5am due to jet lag. She explored the house some more. She may have realized that this place, unlike our recent hotels, is clearly lacking in the breakfast buffet department.

I took her to the orchard to stock up on fruit and try out the car seat again. For dealing with restraint when she's used to wandering around car interiors, she's doing great with the car seat. But little did she know that the tension was building. Her sisters were on their way home.

Pearl burst out of the car and ran to give her daddy a big hug. Sapphire was groggy from a nap in the car, but recovered pretty well. Ruby just stood on the hillock in our front yard watching all this, but soon the girls edged up to her.

They showed some wise restraint, when really they just wanted to hug her to pieces.

Sapphire sidled up to her little sister and made friends. 

Ruby just sort of stood there, not sure what to do, but didn't cry, which was a blessing. The girls and I walked her around the boundaries of our property, and Pearl was thrilled when her littlest sister held her hand.  

The presents awaiting them on the table were a treat, and they look forward to dressing as triplets in the very cute matching hoodies. The three hairbands were also a big hit.

We brought out the shoes that Grandmother Li, Ruby's caretaker, had made for all three of them. They are a little big for Ruby, but she stumbled around in them for a while before I could sneak them away.  She's very attached to her shoes.

Nana brought the fixings for a huge chicken dinner, and she commenced to cook.  Soon the familiar smell of chicken was filling the house, the girls were following each other around, and things felt pretty comfortably normal.

Sapphire has started a little baby-talk, which hopefully will be the extent of her regression as she sees a new baby sister on my lap.  Both big girls were very interested in the diaper change, and Pearl even helped put on the new diaper. Why this is a thrill I have no idea.

The big girls had a chance to cuddle with their parents too, and Sapphire assured me that she really did miss me. She's very eloquent for a not-quite-three year old. 

Ruby's sleep patterns are going to be a challenge for a while as she acclimates to PA time, but also as she learns to feel safe in this new place. She wakes up calling for the night nurse pretty frequently, and while sometimes I can calm her down, other times the realization that she is away from her comfort zone really upsets her.

I'll be updating this when there is news to tell, like after our big trip to the cleft palate clinic, the two September birthdays, and get-togethers with family. We look forward to seeing those of you in PA in the near future and catching up on what your last few weeks have been like.  Now we're all finally home!