Family Day 2013

In the adoption world, Gotcha Day is the day you receive your child and what you call the anniversary of that day each year. We are going with the alternative name because we want to celebrate the whole, complete family. Plus, 'Gotcha' is just a little too much slang for me, so we call it Family Day. I've been looking forward to August 13, our first Family Day as a big milestone for some time.

In the morning, I was treated to a rare long and not-too-squirmy snuggle with my little Ruby who took a long time to wake up.  Then the girls and I watched home videos of each of them as babies. My husband missed some of Family Day because of some serious back muscle pain and resulting medications that kept him in bed. He made a big effort to get himself ready to go out for a late lunch to celebrate.



Ruby loves tractors.

We had a simple Family Day. We picked up lo mien because that was the first food we fed to Ruby when we tempted out of her post-hand-over-near-comatose state. I got sushi.  We took this picnic to Perrydell Dairy where we later visited the baby cows which *thrilled* Ruby.

Perrydell ice cream was also a hit. We chatted about what we liked about our family during the snack.




Then we visited our local library where, unfortunately, the little girls piled up a ridiculous number of board books on the floor for no good reason. After cleaning that up, we headed to the playground outside where some of us faced a little time out and others played.

This is the video I had the bellhop take as Ruby first walked into the huge lobby of the Sheraton in Hohhot (if you can't see it in your email version, go to the blog itself). Here she's just come through the doors where we have been anxiously waiting for about 20 minutes, after waiting, slightly less anxiously, in our room for much longer.  We're kneeling smack dab in the center of the not very private lobby, and the very young woman who escorted Ruby from Beijing is the one encouraging her to make friends with us as we attempt to buy her toddler affection with toys and lollypops. In retrospect, one of my frequent prayers was answered. I was praying that she wouldn't burst into tears at her first sight of us.


So, not a really warm reception on Ruby's part, but at least the all out tantrum didn't come for another 20 minutes.





This is the first all-family photo taken when we returned from China a year ago.

This is the most recent one.  

Probably the biggest difference is the fact that Ruby now has no problem letting her daddy be the one to hold her.  A year ago his hug was torture to her! But I think she's also leaning back on her family instead of trying to inch away. She's really grown into the family in the last year.
 
Thanks for all the support we've had in the last twelve months from you all too!

Family Day!

 She's here!

We had an even longer wait than we thought. We headed down at 3pm, but the caravan bringing Ruby was late, so our facilitator tried to fill our wait with a cultural lesson about Inner Mongolia, which was sweet.  We sat in a little alcove in the huge, chandeliered lobby, turning to watch the door. The plan was that Brenda the facilitator would film Ruby's entrance, but she got up when she thought she caught a glimpse of them, so I ran and drug a bellboy over, handing him our camera.

Ruby came in on her own two feet, clutching the frog we had sent and wearing our outfit.  Esther encouraged her to hand us the frog, and she did it hesitantly while we knelt in the middle of that grand lobby.  She wasn't sure of us at all, and she kept looking to Esther, who had brought her all the way from Beijing, for reassurance. Then our big party moved into the lobby alcove and the other grown ups whipped out the paperwork while we tried to make friends.

This was all rushed by the photographer who placed a red sheet behind us and instructed us to pick her up. Ruby was not ok with this transition, and we wish the whole thing could have gone slower, but, as it turns out, when she sat on the chair arms between us, she had a great view of a tv screen, and she fell into a tv-watching trance.

We had to sign many copies of papers and ink our thumbprint over our signatures.  Ruby scooted as close to the wall as she could get.  The Bayannur orphanage director handed me some gifts for Ruby--the outfit she was found in, a 8x10 leather-worked portrait of Ghengis Khan, and a photo album. Then they wanted photos with the orphanage staff, and they wanted me to hold her.  Throwing a toddler at a stranger is bound to end in a struggle and an unhappy, child laying limply on the ground!

I hated to see Esther go, but she knew she had to get out of view.  They told me to just pick her up and carry her off.  This seemed almost cruel, but I didn't want the director to think I was a weak mother, so I did it. Dozens of strangers were in that lobby too, and they all heard the screams, but I didn't care what they thought at all.  As I carried Ruby through the lobby she all out screamed. I told her I had carried shrieking children before, and we made it to the elevator. 

There she paused for breath when she saw her reflection in the elevator wall, and I suddenly thought to sing "Jesus Loves Me," since they had told us at her foster home that she knew that in English and Mandarin.  It was a lifesaver.  She did not resume the cry, but let me carry her. I did not have my room keycard, and Jasper was still below collecting our piles of things and getting last minute instructions. Fortunately, I found a housekeeper who took pity on me and let me right into my room with no other ID than an on-the-edge child in my arms.  She said something very kind, I think, as she closed the door on us, and we were alone.

I grabbed some books, still singing the eighth repetition of "Jesus Loves Me", and sat on the bed. I began to read *Old MacDonald Had Some Pigs,* and she looked at the pictures. I reread it and *Everyone Poops* (which I thought any toddler would love!) until she fell asleep.

I held her asleep for over an hour, then she slowly awoke but pretty much stayed comatose for two more hours. I didn't want to rush her, and at least we were both comfortable.  Jasper went out to find her some comfort food: ramen noodles, which she ate like a little bird as I offered it to her. We had bought a little tin cup just like her foster home used, and she clutched to this for 45 minutes, glancing up at me every now and then.

The first word she said came out when she saw Pearl waving over Skype. She said jie-jie, which is big sister, so she must have recognized her from the album.  After another hour I got her up and decided she needed to try the potty.  While I held her there, I got a smile, and then a laugh. What a relief!!  We played high five and she giggled. Next we gave her a little bath, and then the real fun started.  She laughed and giggled and kicked while I tickled her on the bed and put on her jammies.  I slowly moved away, and now Jasper is feeding her Cherrios one at a time, making her smile all the while.

I'm exhausted, but I'm so relieved that she's starting to warm up. Let's pray it continues!!