Sisters

Ruby had no idea how big a day this was going to be for her. We all woke up at 5am due to jet lag. She explored the house some more. She may have realized that this place, unlike our recent hotels, is clearly lacking in the breakfast buffet department.

I took her to the orchard to stock up on fruit and try out the car seat again. For dealing with restraint when she's used to wandering around car interiors, she's doing great with the car seat. But little did she know that the tension was building. Her sisters were on their way home.

Pearl burst out of the car and ran to give her daddy a big hug. Sapphire was groggy from a nap in the car, but recovered pretty well. Ruby just stood on the hillock in our front yard watching all this, but soon the girls edged up to her.

They showed some wise restraint, when really they just wanted to hug her to pieces.

Sapphire sidled up to her little sister and made friends. 

Ruby just sort of stood there, not sure what to do, but didn't cry, which was a blessing. The girls and I walked her around the boundaries of our property, and Pearl was thrilled when her littlest sister held her hand.  

The presents awaiting them on the table were a treat, and they look forward to dressing as triplets in the very cute matching hoodies. The three hairbands were also a big hit.

We brought out the shoes that Grandmother Li, Ruby's caretaker, had made for all three of them. They are a little big for Ruby, but she stumbled around in them for a while before I could sneak them away.  She's very attached to her shoes.

Nana brought the fixings for a huge chicken dinner, and she commenced to cook.  Soon the familiar smell of chicken was filling the house, the girls were following each other around, and things felt pretty comfortably normal.

Sapphire has started a little baby-talk, which hopefully will be the extent of her regression as she sees a new baby sister on my lap.  Both big girls were very interested in the diaper change, and Pearl even helped put on the new diaper. Why this is a thrill I have no idea.

The big girls had a chance to cuddle with their parents too, and Sapphire assured me that she really did miss me. She's very eloquent for a not-quite-three year old. 

Ruby's sleep patterns are going to be a challenge for a while as she acclimates to PA time, but also as she learns to feel safe in this new place. She wakes up calling for the night nurse pretty frequently, and while sometimes I can calm her down, other times the realization that she is away from her comfort zone really upsets her.

I'll be updating this when there is news to tell, like after our big trip to the cleft palate clinic, the two September birthdays, and get-togethers with family. We look forward to seeing those of you in PA in the near future and catching up on what your last few weeks have been like.  Now we're all finally home!
 

My Baby Sister Book

For a long time I've been concerned about how Pearl and Sapphire will handle the transition into becoming an adoptive family.  I checked out an enormous book by a psychologist, called Brothers and Sisters in Adoption.  It had some neat suggestions, like explaining things clearly ahead of time and preparing siblings for challenging times and temper tantrums. It also suggested reading this picture book:

Sapphire already calls it "My baby sister book." It is a little out of date, but I skip over the fact the parents pack many rolls of film as they prepare to leave for the big trip. It mostly focuses on what the big sister does at home with Grandma while the parents are away. 

We've also joined an adoptive family group out of a local church, and they are about to start a monthly dinner and speaker event (with babysitting!) to counsel and encourage adoptive families. It is neat to hear the other families' stories. Being around families that look like ours will look will help all the girls. Right now, immersed in adoption information and online and local communities, it seems like everyone is adopting, but once we're in the Giant or at the bank all together, I know that it won't feel that way.

The Big Question

In the car yesterday, Pearl asked me "Why are we getting Ruby?"  Pearl's been part of the discussion all along; we talked to her about getting a baby, she's been turning our sofa into an airplane and play-acting arriving in China and adopting a baby, and we had her ok the referral before we called the social worker back in April.  Adoption is going to be a part of Pearl's life from now on, so I really wanted to get this question right.

Many people have asked me this, but I think I was most pleased with my answer to Pearl. I explained that there were a lot of reasons that we were adopting, that on certain days, certain reasons seemed most important, but that it shifted around a lot. She listened as I went over how we have so much--a big house with room to spare, a yard, good doctors, more love to share--and that we wanted to share it with someone who didn't have anything. I told her that Ruby has people to care for her now, but that she didn't have any money or parents, and that if she aged out of the Chinese orphanage system at age 14, she'd be in a horrible situation. That's one of the main reasons.

She seemed ok with that, and with another reason: we have enjoyed our two little girls so much, we want to see what a third one is like.  Jasper would use that logic to fill the house with about five more kids if he could, but I'm taking it one at a time.  Finally, and on some days most importantly, we want to nurture Ruby's spirit and faith--something that almost certainly would not happen where she is now--to learn from her and to grow with her.

There are other reasons too, ones I'll explain to the girls when they are older. I think I may have started mulling over the idea of adoption from China, or maybe just adoption, after hearing this heart wrenching NPR story, but that was years before we began serious research. 

On another note, the girls love their blog names so much, they've taken to calling each other by them, though they don't seem able to keep them straight.

Since Sapphire wants a mention too, I'll just note here that today she said she wants to be a mermaid when she grows up, one with a tail, so that she doesn't need a grown up with her in the pool.  !